The Customer

[wanderamaranth]

Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. No profit or compensation is coming from this work. The characters mentioned are property of Disney.

Written for just_a_dram 's AiW Pr0n battle. While not pr0n, per say, there is mention of nudity and adult activities.

For the prompt Alice/Tarrant, the birds and the bees

Rating: M

Summary: The Hatter has a customer whom wishes to go into his workshop. This alarms the Hatter.

(There is also a crossover guest in this fiction. Whom will be apparent very quickly, I hope, but rest assured I do not own him, either, but the Mouse does.)
 

*~*~*~*~*

 

Nodding, the Hatter noted the detailed specifications. "Ostrich plume, right side, trailing halfway down the back. Plum felting, maroon band." It was, word for word, exactly what the customer had told him he desired, so of course, the customer disagreed.

"No, that was two ostrich feathers, left hand side, maroon felt, plum banding. Are you sure you're up to this, mate?"

"Of course I am!" Tarrant Hightopp was affronted. It was, unfortunately, not an uncommon feeling when speaking to this particular customer (whom, for one reason or another, always seemed to lose his hats in the most unlikely of ways. Were Tarrant a less generous haberdasher, he'd refuse to allow the man access to his creations at all!) To think, this man, this pirate, questioning his skills in haberdashery simply because he couldn't make up his own mind! It was ludicrous, ridiculous, but true.

"Look, perhaps I should just walk meself back to your workspace and--"

"No!"

The man paused in his swaying motion, dreadlocked hair swinging even after he'd stopped. "What's the matter, mate? This is the direction of your workshop, aye?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Yes, but..."

"Well then you won't mind if I just take a look-see, will you? Us being such good friends and all."

"Sir, I must insist--!"

"When, dear Terry, are you going to drop the formal tone? Much more of that and I might get offended.” The swaying man tripped towards the doorway. Tarrant reached for him, bandaged fingers grasping, but he was too late.

"Is he gone, Hatta?" a clear female voice called out as the knob was twisted. The customer's eyebrows rose into his hairline, and then he turned to the Hatter, grinning lecherously. This was too much for poor Tarrant; he struggled with the man, who was now more determined than ever to enter the room. The woman on the other side of the door continued speaking, oblivious to the struggle occurring outside. "I was beginning to think you'd decided you did prefer the company of your hats to that of your---oh!" she gasped, as both men tumbled into the room.

 

“Captain Jack?” Alice wailed incredulously, clearly flustered to near the extent of her muchness. “What are you doing back here!?”

Yes, this was exactly what the Hatter had been hoping to avoid.

Alice lay sprawled out amongst various fabrics, completely and utterly naked. Hastily, she grasped the nearest scrap large enough, and wrapped herself in it. A bright flush splotched her cheeks.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Terry, you scurrilous dog!" Jack effusively praised after closing his gaping mouth. A devilish smirk curled his lips. “And here I thought I'd have to give you a talk of the birds and the bees, but it seems you're more aware than I'd given you credit for.”

 

"I...that is, we...don't make a habit of this type of..." Hatter protested, bowtie almost perfectly flat (starched-seemingly flat) against his chest in mortification. “The workshop is not...”

"No, no! No need to explain, Terry." Jack smiled (showing a glint of gold teeth) as he clasped his hands together and bowed slightly towards Tarrant. "I completely understand. I shall take my leave of you. Madam," Turning on his heels, he nodded to Alice, who managed, through sheer muchness alone, to nod back and say, "You are still coming to tea tomorrow, are you not, Captain?"

"I wasn't, but now?" There was no mistaking the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Now, I wouldn't miss it, darling." His gaze lingered on the hint of her bosom peeking over the clumsily-wrapped fabric.

Alice blushed deeper, and Tarrant frowned as he took Jack by the arm. "Thank you for coming today, we'll see you tomorrow, good-day!" he said as he bustled him out the back entrance of the Londontown shop. When he returned, Alice was still wrapped up in the velvets, looking at him expectantly.

"He's gone now, dearest," the Hatter murmured, and to his surprise, Alice burst into laughter.

"You should have...ha! You should have seen your face when you tumbled into the room after him, Hatta!" Alice guffawed.

Releasing a sigh, Tarrant took his hat off and set it on a nearby stand. "You're not angry, then?"

"Angry?" Alice asked, still wheezing from mirth. "No, Hatta. Embarrassed, maybe. But no more so than you. Come here."

He collapsed to the floor beside her, and she reached for him, pulling his lips to hers by grasping his bowtie in one fist. An impish smile curled the corner of her mouth as she spoke against his. "I believe we were right about.." she flicked her tongue out and brushed the seam of his lips, "...right about here, before we were interrupted?"