Brother

[wanderamaranth]

Hey everyone! This is the first part of a story I've been tinkering with for a while--a continuation of my one-shot Family. I've been reluctant to post it, as I sorta felt that 'Family' stood well enough on it's own, but...I just can't stand to leave the Hatter so miserable, and Alice so oblivious to it. So I guess this is an optional continuation of that story. 'Family' was almost exactly how I saw their relationship to 'really' be during the film--how I saw them without my Shipper glasses on. I tried to stay as true to that as possible with this.

As per what is turning into my usual for my short stories, (sigh)  I don't have a title. :{  If/when one comes to me, I'll change this post to reflect that.

Oh! And this was inspired, in part, by akainagi and the story If I Should, Before I Wake. (Even though this is nothing like that beautiful story. The alternate title for that particular work just got my twisty little brain thinking in this direction.)

Also thank you manniness  for your support for the idea of a 'Family' follow-up. I just hope it meets expectations. ;)

Summary: Alice has her own realization about her relationship with the Hatter, and how a brother truly would act.

Rating: PG

Part 1/2

 ***

Hamish Ascot, Alice had decided long ago, was a bit more troublesome than his acquaintance was worth.

When she was five and he was eight, he'd pulled on Dinah's tail until it nearly detached from her body. (He'd later apologized profusely, but Alice had not been a very forgiving sort of person for that kind of behavior, and still was not.)

When she was ten, he'd wiped a full, used handkerchief against her face, and then laughed when she shrieked in indignation. (Horrible behavior for a thirteen year old!)

She was fifteen when he'd first walked up to her, nervously adjusting his tie, and asked her to dance. (Which set all the tongues of those present wagging, to be sure!)

Then finally, when she was nineteen, he'd foolishly proposed marriage to her, bowing to the pressure of his mother and the peers' expectations, and in the process, exposing them both to social misery of the acutest kind.

So it was safe to say that she'd never expected to be grateful to the young man for anything, let alone have him be the cause behind a realization of her own brand of foolishness.

"Alice…Alice, are you listening to me?" Hamish had said, annoyance clear in his voice.

"Sorry, Hamish. The ledgers, you said, were balanced by Mr…erm…" They were discussing details of Sir Ascot's business, her father's former company. Alice had been returned from China for a fortnight, and there was a great deal of paperwork and contracts that needed completed, of which Hamish was surprisingly capable-dare she say talented at- completing in an efficient manner.

"By Stevenson. That was twenty minutes ago!" Hamish threw down his pen and the ink in the well splattered out and over his ivory-toned waistcoat, brownish-black specks staining the entire garment. He ran a hand over his face, then sighed. "Really, Alice. Where is your head?"

Before she could answer, he'd forestalled her with, "Never mind. Probably better that I don't know."

Standing, Hamish slammed the book that had been before him shut, and then held out a hand to Alice. "Come along, then." Alice, not about to argue with Hamish when he was clearly abandoning the monotony of discussing more paperwork (of which the young man could happily chatter about for hours, it seemed), stood and allowed him to escort her to the gardens outside.

"Perhaps a stroll about the grounds will refresh us." he suggested once they were out-of-doors, and Alice smiled at him, and said, "Thank you, Hamish. I'm afraid I don't have the head for that particular aspect of the business the way you do. Your father and I appreciate all that you're doing, truly."

The young man had preened a bit at the compliment, and Alice worried that perhaps she could be perceived as encouraging a renewal of his suit. She rather thought not, but it was still a niggling possibility in the back of her mind, one that made her stomach churn in apprehension. She often wondered if his involvement in their fathers' company was for his own sake, or for hers, and then would scold herself for such appaling vanity. Surely Hamish was not so attached to her, she'd say.

Hamish had, much to the surprise of her and his father both, come to Sir Ascot not one day after his failed proposal, gone to Sir Ascot and offered his services to the man, in the name of the business Alice was determined to be involved in. Hamish's father was a bit perplexed by this sudden interest, as his son had seemed the sort of young man to only worry about whither his cravat was tied in a fashionable manner before that, but did not allow his confusion to prevent him from seizing the opportunity to have Hamish do something useful with his life. He'd sent him to his accountants (as Hamish had gone to University, as fashionable young men do, and learned Accounting there; however, he'd simply never shown an inclination to actually use his degree before that day.) and they'd immediately put him to work.

They were, for the first time in their lives, seemingly, getting along quite well now that the pressing weight of the 'marriage expectation' (as Alice referred to it in her mind) had been lifted from them. She would have disliked them going back to their previous uncomfortable relationship.

Hamish, in fact, had been the first one to approach Alice with overtures of friendship, prior to her leaving for China. He'd been involved with the preparations for the journey since the beginning, but she had not had direct contact with Hamish himself. She'd been surprised when he'd come to her, as she'd believed him to be furious and deeply insulted by the manner of her refusal.

He'd expressed his disappointment in her decision, of which Alice had uneasily replied that she understood Hamish to be doing what he thought was honorable after the death of her father, and that in other circumstances, or if she had been another sort of young lady, she would have been pleased to accept his suit. However, she'd said, she was not that sort of young lady, and circumstances weren't of the other variety. After that, their conversations had eased into a sort of friendship, which had created quite a scandal.

Oddly enough, Hamish hadn't seemed to mind.

"I've decided to ask Hattie to marry me."

Alice had started out of the drifting thoughts at Hamish's sudden breaking of the silence-and with such a statement, too!

"Lowell's Hattie?"

Hamish had given her the evil eye when she said this, and replied stiffly, "I was under the impression that Lord Manchester was married to your sister."

Tapping his arm lightly, Alice said, "You know what I'm speaking of! You agreed to keep on eye on Lowell while I was in the Orient!"

"And so I did. But you will do your sister no favors if you speak of such delicate matters as if they are common knowledge in a public setting."

Confused, Alice had looked around and said, "Hamish, we're in your garden. It's hardly like I shouted it in the Park!"

Ignoring her defense, Hamish led Alice over to a low stone bench on one side of the path and sat her down, then settled beside her. "You haven't said anything about my proposal. Do you think…she'll be pleased?" The words came out as 'she'll be pleased' but were understood by both to mean 'she'll answer differently than you?'.

Alice rather thought that Hattie would think herself quite clever for having snagged a Lord 'away' from a Kingsleigh, but said simply, "She'll be delighted."

"I should like you to be there on the day, sister."

Alice had jerked away from Hamish at this statement, and she looked at him askance. Almost shyly, Hamish had said, "Do you not like my new title for you, Alice?"

"I've always wanted a brother." Echoed through her mind, and her stomach fairly lurched in upon itself. Had the Hatter felt this discomfited when she had named him a brother? She rather disliked the idea that the Hatter thought she was thinking of him in the same way she and Hamish thought of each other.

Hamish and she got along well enough now, but it was hardly the type of relationship she held with her dear friend.

It just didn't seem right to call them both by the same title.

"No, nothing." Alice had told Hamish faintly, staring at a rose bush straight across from them. Hamish gently took her hands in his, and she turned to look at him, eyes wide.

"If I can not have you to wife, Alice, I would have you as a sister." Gulping, he forced himself to look into her eyes. "I've cared for you your entire life. When we were but children I swore that I would see to your welfare. It may not be very gentlemanly for me to be demonstrative of those feelings, especially now, but they are still there."

"I…I don't know what to say, Hamish." Alice had always thought that Lady Ascot had forced Hamish's proposal. Perhaps she had been mistaken.

"Say nothing. I fear I must admit I had grown very used to the thought of you being mine before the event even occurred. Don't misunderstand me-!" he said, forcefully. "I was not so deluded as to think myself in love with you, nor you with me. But I did think we had an unspoken accord. Yet with Hattie and I…" he broke off, and Alice squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"I know, Hamish. But…you don't have to marry at all, you know. If you don't want to." Why did they all have to grow old and get married? Alice thought. Why could they just stay the same age forever, and never have to bother with thoughts of weddings and babies?

That was part of the appeal of Underland for her, she knew. Everyone grew to the point of their suiting, and then stayed that age. If they wanted to grow older later they could. So the Tweedles were always boys of eight, the White Queen a woman of twenty and five, and the Hatter a man of thirty and six.

And he was a man, she realized with a lurch. She had been treating him as a young boy, much like the Tweedles. Part of that was the childlike joy he took in simple things, and part of it was the way he spoke in riddles and nursery rhymes, but that was no excuse for Alice's own blindness to the fact that he was a man, fully grown. She'd been acting as if he was much younger than her, a younger sibling.

Just because she didn't think of weddings and babies while in Underland, didn't mean that everyone that resided there did not as well.

Shaking his head, Hamish had said, "Yes, I must." and drew her back into the conversation at hand. Alice felt as if she was seeing Hamish, really seeing Hamish, for the first time as a man himself, and was sorry for the pain, however slight it may have been, that she'd caused him at her refusal.

"I am not like you, Alice. I am not the sort of person to be content alone." Seeing that his statement could perhaps be perceived as an insult, he rushed in with, "I need someone. Hattie will do just as well as…anyone else." He cleared his throat, and rose, as if just realizing how personal the conversation had turned. He went to leave, but stopped for a moment. "Will you be there? On the day?" he asked, and he hadn't needed to elaborate on what day. He wanted her present for his wedding.

"Of course!"

"You do know that I consider you my family, do you not, Tarrant?"

Swallowing around the lump in her own throat, Alice had forced a smile and said, "What is family for, Hamish?"

No, she did not think on the Hatter the way she did Hamish at all.

What then, did she think on him as?

Hamish's answering grin had been brilliant, and Alice had giggled a bit at the almost fierce joyfulness it had possessed.

"Wonderful!" he'd said.

---

As she sat in the circle of clapping young ladies, Alice had thought that Hamish owed her a rather large favor for agreeing to do this.

She was one of Hattie's bridesmaids.

"We need one more lady whom is younger than Hattie, Alice." he'd said. "You know we can not have any that are older than the bride."

So Alice had unenthusiastically agreed, and she was thrown into the preparations for their nuptials. She was required to attend all events involving the wedding, and that included Hattie's bridal shower.

Hattie, her blond hair piled very high atop her head, presided over the head of the tea table, smiling. Alice wanted to hate her, for everything she had done to her sister, had likely encouraged Lowell to do behind her sisters back (although Alice was sure he hadn't needed much encouragement), but for the Ascot family's sake had been suppressing the urge.

"Raise your spoons, ladies!" Hattie announced, and all present did so, a manic gleam in their eyes. The motion was almost choreographed in its execution, with Alice being the only one present whom did not raise her spoon at the same moment. All the other ladies present watched and waited as she picked up her spoon, smiling feebly.

"Dig in, and let's see what the future holds for each of you!" Hattie cried, and then it was a chaos of crushed cakes and smeared frosting as the woman pulled the ribbons out of the cakes and excavated their small prizes.

Alice reluctantly put her spoon to the treat as the voices of the other ladies began to announce their discoveries. "I've got a pence!" Fiona trumpeted, holding the piece aloft. The other ladies present cooed their appreciation of such a lucky find, and Alice dug a bit harder into her cake.

The reverberation of metal against metal traveled up her hand, and Alice pulled out a bit of silver of indeterminate shape, with all of the cake bits and crumbs upon it. Cleaning it with a corner of her napkin, the metal revealed itself to be a delicately tooled silver thimble, one that was too large for any of her own fingers save her thumb. She held it up in the air, admiring the detail worked into the metal's pattern. Small thistles and their blooms ran in a border about the middle, making a utilitarian piece into a work of art.

The young woman sitting beside her spotted Alice holding the thimble, and put down her spoon with a dramatic groan.

"Tis a most unfortunate fate Miss Kingsleigh has pulled for herself, ladies! She holds the spinster's thimble!"

The reaction to this pronouncement was a bit of twittering, but the majority of the other woman looked at each other knowingly. The thimble in the cake was just a confirmation of what they themselves believed to be her future.

"I am sure that Miss Kingsleigh will resign herself to her fate with all the grace she possesses." Hattie had said, an evil glint in her eyes. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence following this, as all waited for Alice's reaction. Normally the younger Kingsleigh would respond to such a cutting remark with an odd statement or observation, but on that day, she simply sat and studied the thimble in her hands.

The thimble would not fit her fingers, but she knew of a set of fingers it would fit perfectly.

Standing, still staring at the thimble, Alice said, "Ladies, if you will excuse me? There is somewhere I need to be." She'd left all the members of the party sitting there in varying degrees of shock as she called for her carriage to be brought round.